


Roza

by Aarlauna_Rose



Category: Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-10-24
Updated: 2011-10-24
Packaged: 2017-11-17 02:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aarlauna_Rose/pseuds/Aarlauna_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose saw the love of her life dying before her eyes. Would she really let her mother hold her back? I think not! How things should have gone: Rose goes after Dimitri, only to be turned Strigoi in his stead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> A HUGE thank you to my wonderful beta, A.I.T. Author In Training! 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy or any of the characters therein. All credit goes to the brilliant Richelle Mead.

"Rose, we have to get out of here!"

"He's in there!" I screamed, straining as hard as I could. How could I have killed Strigoi and not been able to break free from these two? "Dimitri's in there! We have to go back for him! We can't leave him!"

I was rambling, hysterical, shouting at them all that we had to go rescue Dimitri. My mother shook me hard and leaned close so there were only a few inches between us.

"He is dead, Rose! We can't go back in there. The sun will be down in fifteen minutes, and they are waiting for us. We're going to be in the dark before we can get back to the wards. We need every second we can get- it still may not be enough."

I could see the Strigoi gathered at the entrance, their red eyes gleaming with anticipation. They completely filled the opening, ten I believed. Maybe more.

Shadow Kiss, pg 414

 

I knew my mother was right. It was suicide to run back in there, and we needed to get the Moroi to safety. My heart was disagreeing voraciously with my head. Pain ripped through my heart and burned at the thinning fibers of my sanity as I thought of him, pinned and helpless for the first time since I'd met him beneath one of those filthy monsters. He needed me. I couldn't lose him, not now, not after everything was finally right! Taking my hesitation for defeat, Guardian Hathaway's grip had lessened. I took that chance. My mad dash was cut short by her lightning reflexes.

"You can't save him. We have to get the students back to campus." When I tried to pull away again, she yanked me towards the trees with an angry growl. "They come first," she snapped, "Dimitri would say the same."

Yes, he would. And I found I didn't care. All my pent-up bitterness seemed to explode- over Dimitri, over Lissa, over everything. "I'm not letting him die for some spoiled Moroi!" With a ferocity that astounded even myself, I tore from Janine Hathaway and leaped towards the cave, ignoring her panicked shouts. She couldn't understand- but how could she, when our relationship was such a closely guarded secret? We'd been through so much with so little reward- I wasn't about to let some damn Strigoi take everything away from me now.

I rushed into those burning red eyes at full speed, intent on my mission. All guardian training was officially thrown out the proverbial window as I bowled into them, scattering them like pins. All I could think of, all that I was aware of, was the paralyzing fear that I wouldn't be in time to save him.

It didn't take long for them to recover from my unique head-on tactic. I was grabbed from behind and I grasped a cold, damp arm, throwing the body it belonged to over my shoulder. Thought ceased to exist as I battled them. I threw one head first into the cave wall; another I ducked beneath and hit his spine. It was a losing battle, and I knew it.

"Where are you, you worthless son of a bitch?" I yelled to the Strigoi that had attacked him- the same I had spoken to on the elementary campus. "Come out so I can rip your damn head off!"  
There was no answer save for the onslaught of the Strigoi. I finally managed to stake one, and as I pulled the blade free, it was knocked from my hands. Fear for myself finally crept through the fear for him. As one, they suddenly stopped, leaving a neat half circle in front of me. A soft, vile voice that I knew all too well came from my left.

"I warned you, dhamphir."

My lip curled as he stepped to the front of the group. Their blood lust was nearly palpable. "Where is he?" I asked through the sudden dryness of my throat.

"Where is who?" He smiled coldly.

"Give him back to me, God damn it!" My voice was rough with exertion and desperation. "I won't let you have him!"

That smile didn't budge an inch. "He's already ours, guardian." He mocked. The scarce strength I had remaining left me in a rush. I felt lightheaded and distant. The Strigoi all laughed.

"No." I tried to swallow. "You're lying."

"Roza." Oh, that voice. I so wanted to hear it, but the sadness and disappointment it was tainted with made me want to sink as deep as I could into the stone and never come out. The crowd parted so I could see him, on his knees with his neck still bleeding freely. He was weak, too weak to fight, and my strength was fading. Could we even make it?

The easy answer: We weren't. But Dimitri might. I would die to make sure he did.

No time to think. Don't hesitate. I went for the nearest Strigoi with everything I had. My sudden movement was my only advantage- his quick reflexes kicked in too fast. He shoved me back and I fell with no grace, carried by the weight of my momentum. Then my trained reflexes finally kicked in and I turned the tumble into a roll. I faced the group with new determination. I couldn't give up just yet. This had to work.

By some miracle, Dimitri found the strength to help. I used their numbers against them, twisting and ducking to make them fall into each other. Finally, I spotted an opening towards the quickly waning sunlight. I yelled to Dimitri, "Let's get the hell out!" He was out of their grasp, but he just stood there for a moment, waiting. "I'll be right behind you!" I promised. There was so little daylight left. We just had to make it in time.

I will be grateful to my dying day that he obeyed as he'd been trained- without question, without looking back. He ran as fast as he could towards safety, towards daylight and life. I could not follow. When I felt cold, hard arms around my waist, I bit my cheek to keep from yelping in surprise. I could not distract him. He was so close. I couldn't tear my eyes away. When I was pulled back into the crowd, I was silent, and did not fight. The last thing I saw was Dimitri's silhouette against the opening of the cave. People were reaching out to him, pulling him to safety. As razor-sharp fangs sank into my neck and I withdrew into the haze of unconsciousness, I wondered how long it would take for him to notice that I wasn't with him. Then, I thought of nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose saw the love of her life dying before her eyes. Would she really let her mother hold her back? I think not! How things should have gone: Rose goes after Dimitri, only to be turned Strigoi in his stead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy.

Her eyes flickered over the cards, looked at Dimitri, then looked back at the cards. Her expression was blank. "You will lose what you value most, so treasure it while you can." She pointed to the Wheel of Fortune card. "The wheel is turning, always turning."

The reading wasn't as good as Lissa's, but he'd gotten a hell of a lot more than me. Lissa elbowed me in a silent warning to be quiet, which startled me at first. Without even realizing it, I'd opened my mouth to protest. I shut it and glowered.

Dimitri's face was dark and thoughtful as he stared at the cards. I didn't know if he knew anything about this stuff, but he was staring at the images as though they really held all the secrets of the world. At last, he gave Rhonda another respectful nod. "Thank you."

She nodded back, and then the three of us rose to catch our flight. Ambrose told us the readings were on him and that he'd settle up with Suzanne afterward. "It was worth it," he told me. "Worth it to see you think twice about your fate."

I scoffed. "No offense, but those cards didn't make me think much about anything." Like everything else, this just made him laugh.

Shadow Kiss, pg 235-236

 

 

I was cold, but I quickly pushed that complaint aside as the burning in my throat-no, this kind of pain required a different adjective, maybe "inferno"- screamed out for attention. I felt like a dying man in the desert- my thirst was a physical pain that reached through my whole body, lighting all my nerves on fire. I tried to sit up, but my limbs wouldn't obey me. I felt heavy, like I'd been asleep for days. So I waited. Not necessarily patiently- that was far too un-Rose- but with a detached understanding that mobility would eventually return, and I could find out why I was in this predicament… whatever it was. After a time I was able to raise my eyelids with frustrating slowness. Red-ringed eyes and blond hair registered and I reacted instinctively- by trying to claw off that smug expression.

Between my condition and his reflexes, it was no surprise that he easily got out of the way. Hot anger bubbled as he laughed and I forced my weary body to go after him. I crossed the room in a single leap and managed to crack his head against the concrete wall. He was still laughing.

"Rose, you are magnificent," he said with a certain pride.

I may be slow when I'm cranky, but things were slowly kicking in. Rose. My name seemed to calm something inside of me and I relaxed my grip on his hair ever so slightly. "What did you do to me?"

"I created you," he said slyly, "I took that substandard dhamphir personage and created a goddess among Strigoi." His eyes glittered with greed. "You were born for this, Rose. This power was meant for you."

I released him with a snarl. Memories were surfacing, cold and distant. Faded, like an old photograph. A wicked smile was slowly pulling at my lips. So that was why I was no longer hearing Lissa's annoying chatter in my head. I had unlimited potential. Nothing could hold me back. No more school, no more rules, no more protecting pathetic, weak-willed Moroi…

No more Dimitri.

Where had that thought come from? Why should I care about that brainwashed dhamphir? I no longer needed him. My mind wandered to that night in the cabin and a very different brand of desire filled me. What would it be like, I wondered, to feel him writhing beneath me, lost in ecstasy as I sank my fangs into his pulsing neck, to drain the life from him as our bodies entwined? The thought pleased me greatly. My thoughts were rudely interrupted by the Strigoi.

"You don't have any regrets, do you?"

"Of course not." Realizing that I was in much better humor, his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. He may not have feared me- yet- but no sane being wants to endure any pain they can avoid. "I hope you're not expecting me to bow at your feet or anything. You'll be lucky to get gratitude."

"You have no idea what I've given you." He insisted. "This strength is only the beginning. But you won't get to experience any of it if you don't feed. What better way to sever your ties as a Moroi protector than to christen your new life in their blood?"

What better way? This guy was seriously underestimating my creativity. "I'll return," I agreed, "but first I want to leave Guardian Belikov a farewell message."

 

 

Even with tripled security, it was embarrassingly easy for a new Strigoi to sneak onto the St. Vladimir's campus. A few broken necks, slipping into shadows, and turning quick corners, and I was back onto the grounds I knew so well. It was pathetic, really. The wards were still weak, but an icky, nauseous feeling told me that this place still had some protection, however scant.

With the lax security I had plenty of time to explore my new abilities- and I loved this. Every cell seemed to scream with life. It was as if the night had been peeled back for me layer by layer. Every sound was magnified to unreal volumes; every scent was ten times more potent. It was electric. It was powerful. Was this really what I'd been missing out on?

But back to business: the only thing that I needed to focus on now was avoiding detection. My previously tanned skin was pale, too pale to escape notice. That would give me away long before my red-ringed eyes. I'd have to be careful- and careful I was, no more than an extension of the night's shadows as I neared the girl's dormitory.

I climbed the wall with practiced ease, no longer fearful of the long drop. Lissa was probably pacing in her room, too stressed to do anything but worry. Now that I was here, I realized I didn't really have anything resembling a plan. What was the best way to provoke my dear Comrade? I felt my lips twist into a fierce grin as a scenario played through my mind. Keep it simple. How could he possibly resist after this little show?

For a few seconds longer, I hung outside Lissa's window, hoping she was alone. To my satisfaction, I could only hear one heartbeat, frantic and light. Farther away the slow, steady beat of a Guardian's heart paced back and forth. I slid open the window silently and eased myself in, mindful to shut it behind me in case someone below heard us. It took the darling princess this long to notice my arrival.

Lissa spun around, her blonde hair whipping around her shoulders. Her face flashed from fear to relief to shock in an instant. I gave her my most innocent, roguish look. "After all of my lectures, you'd think you'd remember to lock your damn window," I chided.

"Rose," she said breathlessly, "what happened to you?"

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes at the (hopefully) rhetoric question, I answered in a neutral tone. "I was… awakened." It was so amusing to watch her, torn between her petty emotions! This was a Strigoi- she should scream and pray the guardian outside came in time to kill me. But this was Rose. Her dear friend and loyal protector! How tragic.

"We can help you, Rose," she said slowly. "We can find a way to help you, keep you from killing-"

And now the real fun begins. "Are you volunteering?" She flinched, and I decided to try a different angle. Remembering the bits of my old life that I'd cared to look at, I let my face crumple and my shoulders slump. "Liss, please. It hurts so bad." I thought it was a good impression of- what was it? Desperation? "My whole body aches. I'm so thirsty…" Her eyes rose to meet mine, wary but torn. "Please help me," I begged. "I helped you, remember? God, just a little, Liss. You know I could never hurt you."

She hesitated. Dear, sweet Vasilisa couldn't help it. She was programmed with a bleeding heart. After a long moment, she took a tentative step forward. "You're right. You could never hurt me." She said it with such faith and conviction!

And how she trembled! That alone was an aphrodisiac, a delicious precursor to the true object of my desire- the hot, sweet liquid that flowed just beneath the surface of her flawless skin. I took Lissa into my arms and nuzzled her neck, enjoying the sweet perfume of her lifeblood. I whispered soothing words to her, urging her to relax, to trust me. The second the tension in her shoulders lessened, I sank my teeth into her creamy neck and moaned as I took in draught after draught of her life-giving drug.

When she went limp in my arms, I supported her. But even through super-powered Strigoi endorphins she was realizing that something was wrong. She struggled weakly, but what chance did a drugged Moroi ever have against someone like me, Strigoi or not? Just when I felt her life begin to slip away, I pulled away with painful reluctance and let her collapse to the floor. She curled into a defensive ball when I reached out to touch her. I smiled, her blood still staining my lips, and she recoiled with a sharp scream. She was finally taking a side. My mirth was cut short as footsteps rushed to the door.

"Princess!" Someone pounded on the door. "Are you-" What luck! I couldn't have planned this better, truly. My laughter was sharp and maniacal, and I could see true fear for her life sink into Lissa. She moaned and the door flew open.

When he saw me, he froze, stake poised and ready. He took in my bloodstained lips and altered appearance with eyes dark-rimmed from lack of sleep. Then, he saw my position over the bleeding Dragomir princess and his expression darkened to something truly terrible to behold.

"Are you strong enough to stand, Vasilisa?" He asked slowly, never taking his eyes off me.

"Don't hurt her." Lissa begged as she pulled herself to her feet. "I let her do it-"

"Yes, she's such a good friend," I agreed. "she wouldn't let anything happen to me."

"Rose wouldn't hurt me, Guardian Belikov. Please-"

"That thing is not Rose," he interrupted. His voice was tight and strained. "Rose is dead."

I widened my eyes in mock hurt. "I'm not dead, Lissa. What an awful, unfeeling thing to say, Comrade. I thought we meant more to each other than that."

"You are nothing to me."

I laughed, unperturbed by his icy tone. "That's a huge, fat lie. Can you do it, Dimitri? Can you shove that stake into my heart, the heart that beats only for you?" I stepped towards him, my movement languid and graceful. "Can you watch the life leave me and know that you have only yourself to blame?" I was so close to him now, my voice barely above a whisper. "Could you ever forgive yourself?"

There was a brief moment where he hesitated, when his eyes filled with emotion- guilt, I'd imagine- but then he leaped across the small space between us, his face a mask of stoic determination. I evaded him easily and backed towards the window. "Now, now, Dimitri. Be patient. The fun hasn't even begun yet." I pulled the window open behind me. "I'll be waiting for you, Belikov. I suggest you hurry." As I exited the room I heard Lissa's choked sob and a shout for help; following that, a name spoken like a soft entreaty to the night:

"Roza."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose saw the love of her life dying before her eyes. Would she really let her mother hold her back? I think not! How things should have gone: Rose goes after Dimitri, only to be turned Strigoi in his stead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy.
> 
> Thanks to A.I.T. Author In Training for her wonderful work!

"What would you want if you knew you were going to be converted into a Strigoi against your will? If you knew you would lose all sense of your old morals and understanding of what's right and wrong? If you knew you'd live the rest of your life- your immortal life- killing innocent people? What would you want?"

The van had grown uncomfortably silent. Staring at Dimitri, burdened by all those questions, I suddenly understood why he and I had this weird attraction, good looks aside.

I'd never met anyone else who took being a guardian so seriously, who understood all the life-and-death consequences. Certainly no one my age did yet; Mason hadn't been able to understand why I couldn't relax and drink at the party. Dimitri had said I grasped my duty better than many older guardians and I didn't get why- especially when they would have seen so much more death and danger. But I knew in that moment that he was right, that I had some weird sense of how life and death and good and evil worked with each other.

So did he. We might get lonely sometimes. We might have to put our "fun" on hold. We might not be able to live the lives we wanted for ourselves. But that was the way it had to be. We understood each other, understood that we had others to protect. Our lives would never be easy.

And making decisions like this was one part of that.

"If I became Strigoi… I'd want someone to kill me."

Vampire Academy, pg 235-236

 

 

 

 

Nathan was pleased as punch when I told him of my exploits. He actually thought that I did it for him. Like an obedient child. I'll admit that he spoiled me over the next week as we made our way from safe house to safe house, teaching me how to survive while giving me expensive clothing and providing every comfort he could. I was feeling more and more like a pet.

He wanted to take me to Siberia. I balked at that- it would be far too easy, far too simple for Dimitri to find me there. I had to make this at least a little challenging, didn't I? It seemed only fair, as I was certain he'd do the same for me if our roles were reversed.

"I have contacts there, a network that can help you grow into your new abilities." He explained to me. "You need a mentor, a sponsor. You'll never make it far without me."

"I owe my new life to you; that's all I ever want from you. Of course, you're free to stick with me, if you're so desperate for company." I smirked. My words had the desired effect. It was just so easy to make him angry!

"For all your power, you're only a fledgling." I sighed. Yes, the same argument as before. "How dare you throw everything I've done for you away? Do you really think you could survive on your own?"

I rolled over on the bed I'd been resting on, waiting for the day to pass. He was standing near the door, now practically twitching with agitation. Traveling with him had been necessary, but he'd been growing on my nerves steadily. Surely between his lessons and my own guardian training I could manage alone. Did I really have to deal with this? "Yes," I answered, "I'm certain of it."

It was the work of a few seconds to reach his side and snap his scrawny neck. Instantly paralyzed, he sank to the floor. I had a few options here. Kill, maim, or just go? Strigoi weren't known for their forgiving natures. He'd probably come after me. Since I was deprived of the only weapon I was sure would kill him, I easily slung him over my shoulder and walked into the front room.

The bodies of the Moroi family that had owned the place were piled carelessly on the couch, barely beginning to stiffen. Pale light struggled to reach me through the blinds and I winced. Nathan had warned me I'd be extra sensitive for a few days, but not being able to be near the sun would take getting used to.

I decided that the simplest, safest way to do this would be to exploit this problem. I rummaged through the kitchen drawers until I found a washrag. I dumped my burden in the square of shaded sunlight closest to the door and carefully reached for the drawstrings with my protected hand.

It was slow, careful work. I could feel the sting through the cloth, thick as it was. When I yanked the blinds open I underestimated the force- with a snap the blinds flew off the wall, bathing the room in harsh light. I screeched and fell backwards, clutching my face. God, that hurt! My only condolence was that Nathan was getting it far worse. A strange, strangled sound was coming from him; when I tried to look my vision was too blurred from my own brush with the sun.

It took a while, but eventually I could see again. The sun had moved a few inches. I narrowed my eyes, pleased to see the black husk that had been my mentor. So much for that headache. I briefly thought on the irony of receiving molnija marks as a Strigoi as I retired to the bedroom. Maybe now I could finally get some rest.

Getting some well-deserved shut-eye was all well and good, but I needed to figure out where I was going. I did know that it was safest to keep on the move, especially since I'd attacked a royal Moroi and goaded on one of the best guardians at St. Vladimir's. I took Nathan's cell phone from the end table and flipped through it, trying to remember some of the names he'd mentioned.

By sundown I was no closer to finding a decent lead or choosing a destination. Feeling restless, I decided to stretch my legs, get some air- maybe suck a few Moroi dry. Might cheer me up a bit.

I decided to hit the club scene. All I had to do was stay on the outskirts of the crowd and no one should look twice. I'd just be another Goth chick with a vampire fetish. The trick here was finding a club where Moroi would frequent. Avoiding guardians would be easy if I was smart- not something I was too concerned about.

It took a while, but I eventually came across a group of dolled-up teens laughing and yelling at random passers-by. A few questions and a charming smile and they told me where the hottest spot in town was. Hopefully their drink-addled minds hadn't given me bad directions.

The place was small, but packed. I waited patiently in line like a good girl, flashing my ID with a wink. The bouncer was as expressionless as I'd ever seen Dimitri, but that didn't matter. I was in, and that was half the battle. Most of the crowd was massed on the dance floor, though that may have been because the majority of the club was the dance floor. The bar was little more than a nook, boasting a total of five stools and standing room for about three. I could make out the slight figures of at least four Moroi at first glance. Behind them in the shadows their guardians watched silently. I drifted into the crowd and puzzled out the grab and bolt.

It was a lot like training at St. Vladimir's, only in reverse. Instead of guarding the room I had to break in and out with the prize. I reflected that this may have actually been a good exercise to teach the dhamphir- after all, isn't the best way to defeat your enemy to learn to think like them? Ah, well. It made my job easier.

There were two doors out of this place. The front door (glass framed by metal) and the back door (standard fire exit). No windows, low ceiling. A real fire hazard and a damn annoyance for someone like me. Figures. No time for griping, though- I'd waited too long already.

As for the Moroi, they were near the center of the dance floor- smart move. The guardians flanked the far wall near the entrance. Fire door it is. With a sheepish apology to the hulk of meat who'd let me in, I walked out the front door to explore behind the club. So luck hadn't abandoned me after all. No dead ends, no high fences. I walked a little farther, planning a few different routes. My best shot was to go out the fire door, go left, and drop into the sewers the street over. Even the strongest guardian would have trouble with a manhole cover. Satisfied with my brilliant strategizing, I lifted the metal just enough to make for easy removal. Those dhamphir would be right on my ass.

A little voice that was probably called 'reason' told me I could just wait outside the club and tail them. I could get them in their hotel or en route to their house and have a much higher chance of success. I decided it was too much work and too much waiting. I was thirsty, damn it. Logic be damned.

I preened on the way back to the club, fluffing my hair and pulling my sleeves down to hide my complexion as much as possible. Hopefully my unique appearance would only be noticeable on close inspection and only from the front- and honestly, I was just too good to let that happen. I had no doubts about my success as I re-entered the club.

The smell in there was intoxicating and nauseating all at once. So many bodies pressed together, the subtle (and not so subtle) scents blending together into an aroma that made the burning in the back of my throat intensify in a good way. I could hear each individual heartbeat under the pulse of the bass. It was a physical effort not to grab the nearest body and suck down. One wrong move and my new life would be over in a second. One of the Moroi said something to his friend and signaled to his guardian. He walked up to the bar, a little unsteady on his feet. Not bad looking, either. Perfect. I casually took a seat nearby.

I was planning my pick-up line when the world suddenly reeled. I grasped the glass counter. Foreign thoughts flew through my mind and I clenched my jaw. I thought the bond was broken! The last thing I needed right now was Lissa's drama interfering with the hunt. Something felt… off, though. A shudder ran down my spine as I realized that something was very, very wrong.

The club dissipated somewhat, replaced by the sickeningly familiar sensation of Lissa's mind. I cursed, and Lissa couldn't help the triumphant grin that spread across her face.

"I did it!" She gasped. "I can see where she is!"

"What do you see?" Adrian was leaning forward, his sunken eyes testimony to his unique coping method. Beside him was Christian. His arm was wrapped around Lissa's waist.

"Take your time," he cautioned. "Don't push it."

"She's in a club." Confusion crept into her voice. "She's sitting at a bar, looking at-" She froze. The two Moroi were hanging on every word. "She's looking at a Moroi." Lissa finished faintly.

Damn right I am! I fumed. Get out of my head before I come back and drain you properly!

She flinched and the heavy weight on my mind lightened a little. I took the opportunity to push back as hard as I could. I needed to feed. I didn't have time for this crap.

"I think we should stop," Christian interjected. "You don't want to see this."

"I need to know where she is," Lissa argued.

"No, you don't!" Christian and I shot back. It was amazing that we could agree on something, especially now.

"This is the only link we have to Rose," Adrian cut in. "She doesn't sleep, at least not like we do."

Christian shot him a look and leaned in close to Lissa, whispering into her ear. "I know you want to help her, but Belikov was right. She's dead. Let her go."

Adrian, of course, heard every word. "Rose wouldn't give up if it was Lissa. She wouldn't even give up for you. We owe it to her to try."

"We can try again later," Christian said pointedly. I very nearly voiced my disapproval to this idea out loud, remembering just in time that I was on a sensitive mission. I gave Lissa's mind a final shove and felt the last tendrils of her consciousness fade with no small amount of relief.

Well, now that I was free of that headache, back to business.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose saw the love of her life dying before her eyes. Would she really let her mother hold her back? I think not! How things should have gone: Rose goes after Dimitri, only to be turned Strigoi in his stead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy.
> 
> A.I.T. Author In Training, thank you for being such a patient beta! :)

"It's late, I'm tired, and your cigarettes are giving me a headache." I growled.

"I suppose that's fair." He drew in on the cigarette and let out the smoke. "Some women think they make me look sexy."

"I think you smoke them so you have something to do while thinking up your next witty line."

He choked on the smoke, caught between inhaling and laughing. "Rose Hathaway, I can't wait to see you again. If you're this charming while tired and annoyed and this gorgeous while bruised and in ski clothes, you must be devastating at your peak."

"If by 'devastating' you mean that you should fear for your life, then yeah. You're right." I jerked open the door. "Good night, Adrian."

"I'll see you soon."

"Not likely. I told you, I'm not into older guys."

I walked into the lodge, as the door closed, I just barely heard him call out behind me, "Sure, you aren't."

Frostbite, Page 74

 

 

 

 

I didn't stay there long. I had paid attention to Nathan's lessons, tedious as they were. I decided I wanted to go somewhere outside of the US. In the end, I chose Romania. I figured it was slightly less obvious than Siberia. There were rumors that the Moroi were harder to hunt there, but I've never backed down from a challenge. I wanted to test the limits of this new body. Going into rumored enemy territory seemed like a fine plan.

Lissa's intrusions were becoming more and more frequent. This two-way bond was getting annoying as hell. Usually I could block her out, or at least dull her voice to a distant mumble- but it was driving me mad. I suddenly understood why Lissa had felt uncomfortable knowing I could 'feel' her sometimes. Karma can be a real bitch.

She, Christian and Adrian had got it in their heads to find a way to 'save' me. Dimitri had vanished soon after my Awakening. I didn't know where he was, and I didn't care. I knew he'd find his way to me eventually. As for those three, I knew there was no way to reverse my transformation. In the end, the only option was to kill me. None of them had the guts to do it.

This was one of those nights that I nearly considered living with the thirst and staying in my apartment. Lissa had been in my head for hours, and I had a major headache. I growled in frustration as I peeked through the curtains out at the city. I hadn't been here long- maybe a week- but the Moroi lives I had managed to take had been fairly challenging. I'd taken a few humans, but their blood lacked a certain vitality. It was like having skim milk instead of chocolate milk. Okay, but not really satisfying.

"Rose, please. We'll find a way," Lissa was begging. "You have to try to remember who you are. You aren't a killer. You protect us."

"I know exactly who I am!" I snarled. "Would you please just shut up?"

"Don't you get it? They'll kill you if they find you."

"Yeah. If."

My sensitive ears picked up a slight shuffling from below. I froze. I had been careful, moving places every few days- but I knew that if Dimitri's guardian skills were anything to go by, I could be in serious trouble. Meanwhile, Lissa kept prattling on about whatever. I couldn't focus.

"Lissa!" I hissed. "Shut up!" To my surprise, she obeyed. I moved a little closer to the window. Someone was definitely out there. Even a story up, I could tell that whoever was sneaking around was trying not to be seen- and they knew their stuff. I held my breath. There was a long, tense moment that Lissa shared, her mind swirling with fear. I jumped when the door slammed open behind me. How the hell did I miss that?

I reacted instinctively. I ducked under the leg that lashed out and grabbed their ankle, twisting it hard as I stepped to the right. Then a fist hit me in the arm and I lost my hold. He'd hit a pressure point. Damn! My arm was numb and useless. I tried my best to compensate, but in such a small space, there's only so much that even a Strigoi can do. Finally I managed to work my way over to the door to try and make a run for it.

I was grabbed around the waist as soon as I stepped into the hallway. How many were there? I recognized the thicker, athletic bodies of dhamphir guardians. Fuck me. I struck out at the guardian that held me, but he just tightened his grip. The other one emerged from the apartment. I felt the faintest trickle of doubt. I had never faced so many at once before, and I had obviously done something to piss them off. I didn't think I had killed any major royals here… It didn't matter. These guys had picked a fight with the wrong girl. I was Strigoi. I was immortal. I would kill them.

With a ferocious growl I threw my head back as hard as I could. There was a crack and I was momentarily dizzy. I couldn't waste time, though. I elbowed my would-be captor and pulled from his grip. Then I leapt after the first guardian. Lissa objected. I ignored her. She was pacing now, worried about me but also not wanting me to kill them. She couldn't understand. We had to kill each other. That was simply how it was. They would die for daring to attack me. I would die for being Strigoi. Or, at least, that was the theory. I twisted another guardian's head and smiled as I felt his neck snap. I let him fall. The other had very nearly recovered. I pinned him to the floor with a hand over his neck.

"Who else knows where I am?" I demanded. He didn't answer. I didn't speak any Romanian beyond the few phrases I'd been taught by Lissa, so I went with the Rose method. I grabbed his neck and slammed his head into the floor. "Who knows?"

"Go to hell," he said in a thick accent. I smiled.

"I could always just torture you," I suggested, "or turn you Strigoi." He paled. "Or… I could kill you quickly. What's your choice, dhamphir?"

"All of us!" he said quickly. It was hard to understand him when he was scared. "We were just the first to get here." All of them? Well, shit. Looks like I'd have to leave sooner than planned. Somehow I suspected it was a bit more complicated than your average Strigoi hunt- someone somewhere really wanted me dead. "Please, kill me," he continued, "I can't be Strigoi." I scoffed. Such a wimp. Were they really letting guys like him become guardians? Before I had been Awakened, I would have died before giving up any information to a Strigoi.

His eagerness to betray his kind made me even more happy to grant his last request. I let him think I was considering it. Lissa, of course, begged me to let him go. But where's the fun in that? "I'll kill you," I agreed. He looked so relieved that I couldn't help but smile. "But I'll need strength for the journey out of here. You'll die, guardian, but only after I'm done with you."

I gave him no time to object. Lissa abruptly pulled from my mind as I sank my teeth into his neck. I savored the hot flavor of his blood. Moroi tasted sweeter, but dhamphir blood was bolder. He stopped fighting quickly, taken over by the endorphins. Then there was The Moment. I could feel his life pouring into me, filling me with strength. He struggled, just a little. Then his life simply ended- one second, he was whole and the next- nothing. I was high from the effect. I never tired of The Moment. I felt invincible. But I also knew that even I couldn't take out all of the dhamphir in Bucharest at once. I had to leave fast.

And so I left without much incident. I didn't hear from Lissa for a while- a small blessing. I finally gave in and made my way towards St. Petersburg. After shaking off the guardians, I did a little better, but really- what did it matter when all I needed was to distract some stupid Moroi enough to leave his guardians? A sly wink and slow smile was all I needed. I became a master at makeup. The game was getting easier and easier.

That was about the time I started feeling restless. I wasn't sure where the feeling was coming from, but often I found myself wandering the streets aimlessly until dawn. I started ending the hunt early, having little interest for the thrill. I felt tired. It wasn't natural for a Strigoi to feel like this, even I knew that. After three weeks Lissa still had not tried to contact me again.

I'm not sure why that bothered me. I should be glad that she wasn't poking around anymore. But her silence made me feel as if something bad was coming. I was increasingly aware of my habit of looking behind me when I was wandering far from shelter, or how often I checked the locks. I was growing irritable and sloppy. Finally I broke down and tried to step into Lissa's mind. I had to know what the hell was going on.

I saw a few flashes of color, disjointed sounds and voices. Then it felt like a wall slammed into place and I was back in my own body. When had she learned that? I stubbornly tried to push back in. Again I was shoved out. What was up with this? I shot up from my seat and paced a while longer. Had Adrian found a way for her to keep her thoughts from me? Did she give up on 'redeeming' me? It seemed like too much to hope for. But then again, I felt a stab of anger. That link, however annoying, had given some form of control over her. Now that was gone.

I wasn't going to lose that connection. I struck out for the third time. I was instantly face-to-face with Adrian. He stared at me. Not Lissa, me. I found myself unable to speak.

"Rose, that's enough," he said. "You're not going to be hearing from Lissa anymore. You're not going to hurt her again."

"Hurt her?" I said through Lissa. It was odd hearing her echo my words. "How on earth have I been hurting her when she's the one poking around in my head?"

"There's nothing we can do for you," he said evenly. "There's no cure. I'm blocking Lissa from you. I won't give you the chance to manipulate her."

"So what now?" I scoffed. "You gonna tell the dhamphir where I'm hiding?"

"No." he said carefully. "Lissa made us swear not to."

"But you wanted to." I returned. "How sweet of you, my dear friends. I'm sure I'd do the same in your place." Lissa's emotions surged. She knew I wouldn't. She was certain that I'd find a way, no matter what. I laughed.

I couldn't quite place the look that crossed his face, however brief it was. Lissa did, and it upset her. "Goodbye, Rose." Adrian said. Then I was kicked out a final time.

Nights passed. I considered returning to St. Vladimir's several times. It might be suicide, but I had to know what had changed Lissa's mind. I had to know where she was, what she was doing. I expelled my frustration by picking off more snacks than was probably wise. I could tell that I was drawing attention. Frankly, I didn't care.

One night, I had just cornered a handsome Moroi when I felt Lissa's presence fill my mind. I froze, and my hesitation let him get away. I hardly noticed. Lissa was frantic. I tried to catch the substance of her thoughts, but her fear muddled them. Finally I managed to catch a few images. My amusement and exhilaration shocked and confused her. Why should I be happy? Lissa was beside herself. She begged me to run, to go somewhere no one would expect me to go.

But there would be no hiding from this dhamphir. Not the one I expected, perhaps, but still amusing. Lissa said she'd run off as soon as the decision was announced, determined that I should meet my end by her hands. Lissa might have been panicked, but all I knew was that the fun was just beginning.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose saw the love of her life dying before her eyes. Would she really let her mother hold her back? I think not! How things should have gone: Rose goes after Dimitri, only to be turned Strigoi in his stead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy.
> 
> Thank you, A.I.T. Author In Training! I'd be lost without my beta.

"I'm sorry," Dimitri said all of a sudden.

"For what? Reading cheesy novels?"

"For not being able to get you here. I feel like I let you down." I glimpsed a shadow of worry on his face, like he was concerned he might have caused some irreparable damage.

The apology totally caught me off guard. For a moment, I wondered if he was jealous of Adrian's influence in the same way Christian had been. Then I realized it was completely different. I'd been giving Dimitri a hard time because I'd been convinced he could do anything. Somewhere—deep inside— he felt the same, at least where I was concerned. He didn't want to deny me anything. My earlier bad mood had long since vanished, and I suddenly just felt drained. And stupid.

"You didn't," I told him. "I acted like a total brat. You've never let me down before. You didn't let me down with this."

The grateful look he gave me made me feel as if I had wings. If another moment had passed, I suspected he would have said something so sweet that I would have flown away.

Shadow Kiss, pg 179

 

 

 

 

I think the thing that bothered Lissa the most was my refusal to do anything at all. I had no doubt that even if I tried to cover my tracks, it would be a total waste of time. I honestly felt better than I had in weeks- minus Lissa's persistent nagging. But for some reason, it wasn't so annoying anymore. She had tried begging me, coercing me, bribing me, and finally attempted to threaten me. Now that was funny. The frail Dragomir princess taking on a Strigoi? It was the best laugh I'd had in a while.

"You don't understand!" Lissa exploded one day. "There's a small army after you!"

"And why would I receive such an honor?" I shot back.

She hesitated. Of course, that just grabbed my attention, damn her. "We know about you and Dimitri," she began. "Or at least, I do. Adrian, Christian, and a few others know too. The rest guessed as much when he reacted so badly to your…to what happened."

I relaxed in the shadowed alley I'd been lurking in, giving Lissa my full attention. "Well, well," I murmured. "And just how did dear Belikov react?"

Lissa was torn. Should she tell me and satisfy my disturbing sense of curiosity, or stick to the facts? Would telling me help me decide to listen to her, for once? She sat down on her bed with a heavy sigh. "He tried to go after you, back into the cave. The Guardians had to drag him away. No one had ever seen him lose control like that." I could see how she remembered him. Powerful and angry, determined to kill anything in his path. It was incredibly amusing. Lissa didn't agree.

"And then you had to go to Romania, of all places and start picking off minor royals-"

I couldn't help but scoff at that. "Oh, really? There are plenty of us out there. Who's to say that was me?"

"We all know how good you are, Rose! That's why they put up with your attitude. As a Strigoi, they know that you're almost unstoppable. Who else would have the gall to hunt in Bucharest? Your mother insisted they send her to do it."

"Why does that not surprise me?" I slipped from the narrow street to approach one of my favorite hunting grounds. I hadn't been in town long, and pure luck had led me here. It was little more than a shack, pressed against a sizeable clump of trees. It was almost always crawling with drunk Moroi and their reluctant (and sometimes also drunk) guardians.

"She thinks it's her fault you ran after Guardian Belikov."

"Whatever." I snorted. "It's not like she was trying very hard."

Lissa sighed. "Rose. They won't stop hunting you. Why can't you hide? Why can't you try to find a way to save yourself?"

"Aren't you supposed to not talk to me?" Anger was beginning to tug at my patience- not that I ever had much to begin with. I was so sick of all this. We'd had this conversation a million times. I was staying Strigoi. There was no way in hell I was giving all of this power, this freedom, up.

The sour smell of beer invaded my space as I crept closer to the hangout. So gross. How could humans-or anyone, really- drink this stuff? The cheap brand the teens favored was rank.

Lissa, meanwhile, was sifting through feelings she identified as hurt, shame and stubbornness. It still didn't seem clear to her that I was not the same Rose. I could hurt her feelings on purpose with no remorse. Boo-hoo.

I could see the dull florescent lights ahead now. I had used a more direct route the last time. I would approach from the trees tonight. It would be a lot easier.

"I'll talk to who I want," Lissa said with determination. "And you're my best friend-"

"Quiet." I snapped.

"No way. I'm sick of you refusing to listen-"

"Do we need to go over this again?" I hissed. "I need to hear." That was precisely the problem. I heard nothing. Had the Moroi gotten smart and moved somewhere else? A twist in my gut told me that wasn't it. Something was wrong. My blood raced through my veins. Was Janine here? Or had the dashing Dimitri Belikov found me first?

Not even a cricket chirped. Well, that's not ominous at all. I assessed the situation. It wouldn't do for her- or him- to get the drop on me. I had a reputation to uphold. So where would they hide? My mother and Dimitri were both very skilled- and they both knew me, if not one more than the other. What would Dimitri tell me to do?

Run like hell.

Hmm, not my first choice, but I might be able to dash through whatever trap or ambush was set. Then I could easily turn and fight. My muscles tensed as I prepared for the sprint. I began to count to five silently.

One… The silence felt so thick. The night trembled with anticipation. Two… What would be a fitting end for my wayward mother? How could I play with Dimitri before I killed him? Three… Did I hear a slight sound ahead, near the shack? Four… Deep breaths, Rose. You can outrun them, easy. Five-

The wind was knocked out of me as a heavy weight rammed into me from behind. I rolled, fighting tooth and nail to dislodge my attacker. They wouldn't let go. I roared my frustration and used my weight to throw them against a tree, using the force of our velocity. They cursed and I broke away, ready and eager to see who'd won the race.

That was when I felt the burning cold sensation on my arm. I jumped back with a yelp. Bright red hair assaulted my vision. Janine was here- but who had she brought along? I had little time to consider- I was learning the hard way how efficient she was when she meant to kill. When she finally took a wrong step, I grabbed her arm and threw her back with all my considerable strength. Dimitri caught her before any real damage was done.

Lissa's fear shot through me so strongly I almost thought I was the one scared out of my mind. I certainly didn't have room for anything else at the moment. For some reason it seemed inconceivable that these two would team up to kill me. If I cared at all, I might have been severely hurt by that- but as it was, I was annoyed. I had wanted to have them separately. This would force me to kill them quickly. I knew with certainty that with this team, I very well may die. Once all these thoughts flew through me, I laughed. What was I thinking? I may die, but I could take at least one of them down with me.

It would be hard to break them. They were professionals. They would see me as Strigoi, not Rose Hathaway. Rose was dead to them. I was just the abomination who took her place- and they were probably right about all of that. I was capable of things their Rose couldn't- wouldn't- do in a million years. But still, this was my mother. Not that the relation had kept her close, mind you. And he was the love of my former life. Surely he must find it hard to destroy me?

"How touching." I sneered. "I'm so honored that you two teamed up for this. Why, you might actually stand a chance this way." Dimitri was keeping up his guarded, stoic personage. Janine looked like she was fighting nausea. Her silver stake hung limp at her side. Of the two, I hadn't expected her to look more weak. "I thought you ran away, Dimitri," I continued relentlessly. "Could it be that you were off looking for some deep inner truth that would give you the strength to keep your promise?" I mocked. My mother looked away.

"I remember that day," I continued. "When we promised to kill each other if one of us was ever turned. But it's so much different than either of us could have imagined." A sort of awe crept into my voice. "It's power. It's life. It's… amazing. Think of everything you'd be capable of, Dimitri- with this kind of power, nothing can stop you. You'd live forever."

"It's not living," Janine interrupted. "You are everything we stand against."

"I'm not just a Strigoi," I insisted. "I'm everything Rose was, and more. I'm stronger, faster. Think of me as the improved model."

"You are not my daughter!" she yelled. "Rose was killed by a monster. You just have her face-"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, that's not prejudiced at all. Can't you people look past the whole undead thing?"

Dimitri put a hand on Janine's shoulder. Her grip on the stake tightened.

"It's time to finish this," he said, and leapt towards me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose saw the love of her life dying before her eyes. Would she really let her mother hold her back? I think not! How things should have gone: Rose goes after Dimitri, only to be turned Strigoi in his stead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy.
> 
> Thank you, A.I.T. Author In Training!

Hurting and bleary-eyed, Lissa took Victor's hands. I'd never been in her head when she worked magic and didn't know what to expect. At first, I felt nothing. Just a sense of concentration. Then...it was like...I don't even know how to describe it. Color and light and music and life and joy and love...so many wonderful things, all the lovely things that make up the world and make it worth living in.

Lissa summoned up all of those things, as many as she could, and sent them into Victor. The magic flowed through both of us, brilliant and sweet. It was alive. It was her life. And as wonderful as it all felt, she was growing weaker and weaker. But as all of those elements-bound by the mysterious spirit element-flowed into Victor, he grew stronger and stronger.

The change was startling. His skin smoothed, no locker wrinkled and pocked. The gray thinning hair filled out, turning dark and lustrous once more. The green eyes-still jade-like- sparkled again, turning alert and lively.

He'd become the Victor she remembered from her childhood.

Exhausted, Lissa passed out.

Vampire Academy, pg 301-302

 

 

 

 

And just like that, everything happened at once. Dimitri and Janine went for me from opposite sides. Thanks to my new abilities, I was able to jump out of their reach- but just barely. That sliver of doubt seeded in my mind. There was no time to pause, however. A second later Dimitri had spun around and was after me again, launching off of the tree he'd nearly run into. I twisted away. I had felt the tip of the stake brush my ribs.

A small hand locked on my wrist. I reached out to scratch her only to feel the burning of silver again as Dimitri struck my shoulder. While I was distracted, my mother pulled me closer, stake ready. I kneed her in the gut. She went down, but it cost me. Dimitri got a firm hold on my upper arm. His foot hit me squarely in the chest and I hit the ground hard. There was a brief second that he paused-eyes dark, his dark hair falling to obscure his face-but I didn't have any time to exploit it. When I saw the stake coming towards me, I finally felt real fear. This was it. I was actually going to die. All of this power, this new life- it would be ended by this ignorant dhamphir. Lissa was glued to me, not wanting to see this, but feeling that she must. Her panic rushed through the bond, making me feel jittery. It made me feel like fighting.

Out of desperation, I did the first thing I thought of- I grabbed the weapon as it descended. I gritted my teeth at the terrible pain and drove my shoulder into Dimitri. He rolled to the side with a grunt. I held on to the stake. He let go, probably thinking I'd drop it.

He underestimated me. I grasped the thing tightly, hating the pain but determined to keep it away from him. I glanced at Janine. She was out cold. Dimitri was stirring a few paces away. I stood above him, waiting for him to see me. How dare he? This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I wanted to do so many things, wanted to make him scream and beg for his life. I wanted to see his eyes as I murdered him. And I got my wish- as he looked up at me, that blank expression was gone. His soul was laid bare to me. I may not have understood what it meant, but Lissa did.

She saw him as someone who was acquitted. He was at peace- he'd come after me, he'd fought bravely, and he had no shame. He had tried to fulfill his promise. And he probably would want to be killed by me rather than any other Strigoi. I felt sick. Really? What were all these petty emotions worth to anyone? Of course he should be ashamed! We'd battled, and he'd lost. That was the end of it.

"Should I kill you?" I asked. My voice was tight with pain. I swear I could smell my skin burning. "Or should I let you go?" Lissa clamored. She wanted me to walk away. She said that when she cured me, I'd never forgive myself for this. I ignored her.

"If you release me, I'll only follow you," Dimitri said calmly. "I won't stop until I free you from this."

His serenity pissed me off even more, if it was possible. I was the one in charge here. I was the one who decided who lived or died. He should be angry, distraught, something more than this. There was no way I could just leave things as they were. "Lissa doesn't want me to kill you," I challenged.

I don't think I could have shocked him more if I said I didn't want to be Strigoi. "You can still hear Lissa?" he breathed. I finally had him.

"Not only that, but she can hear me," I said smugly. "She won't shut up about it, either." He was actually speechless. I smiled. "So I have a dilemma, Comrade. If I kill you, I'll never hear the end of it. But I'd really rather live. So- what do we do?"

I heard a slight shuffle behind me and twisted just in time to avoid the guardian behind me. She was after me again a second later. I twisted her arm and pulled her to my chest. I clasped my hands (still holding the stake) around her waist and shot him a primal grin over her shoulder. He had managed to stand, but he froze when he saw how close my teeth were to Janine's conveniently exposed throat.

"Let her go." I'd never heard him use that voice before, and most definitely not at me- low, dangerous, full of death. It sent a pleasant shiver down my spine.

"I don't know," I said. "I'm awfully thirsty- I haven't had a chance to pick off any defenseless Moroi tonight."

Rose, don't do this. She's your mother!

Laughter bubbled out of me before I could stop it. Dimitri was so serious! He'd never forgive me if I hurt this woman. The grim set of his shoulders and the cold aura around him spoke volumes. Janine struggled.

Rose! Let her go! Lissa begged. You don't know what you're doing.

The smile left me and I frowned darkly. I was getting sick of her interference. And I could smell her blood, so close. So warm. "Shut up, Lissa," I snapped.

No. I won't let you do this.

"And what are you going to do? Yap my ear off?"

There was a short pause as she contemplated, weighing something that she managed to keep hidden from me. This.

Pain consumed me. I let go of my mother, screaming with pain. What the hell was she doing to me? The pain in my blackened hand was nothing compared to this torture. It was white-hot light pouring through me. It was a thousand voices screaming into my ears. I was smothered by the presence of it, by its purity. And very distantly, I could feel Lissa's intense concentration.

Then, something incredibly strange and unexpected happened. Fear came- but it wasn't fear for me. It was fear for Lissa. Fear that whatever she was doing might hurt her. "Lissa!" I said before I could think about it. "Stop it, please! Lissa! You're killing yourself!"

Then it was over.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose saw the love of her life dying before her eyes. Would she really let her mother hold her back? I think not! How things should have gone: Rose goes after Dimitri, only to be turned Strigoi in his stead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy.
> 
> A.I.T. Author In Training is an amazing beta, folks!

Feeling a little guilty, I shifted my conversation to a more flirty style and watched Mason's glow increase.

I leaned beside him on the wall so our arms just touched and gave him a lazy smile. "You know, I still don't approve of your whole hero thing, but you did scare them. That was almost worth it."

"But you don't approve?"

I trailed fingers up his arm. "No. I mean, it's hot in principle but not in practice."

He laughed. "The hell it isn't." He caught hold of my hand and gave me a knowing look. "Sometimes you need to be saved. I think you like being saved sometimes and can't admit it."

"And I think you get off on saving people and just can't admit it."

"I don't think you know what gets me off. Saving damsels like you is just the honorable thing to do," he declared loftily.

Vampire Academy, pg 195-196

 

 

 

 

Anger. No, worse than that. Lissa was pissed. Horrible, black emotions had twisted around her mind, held her in a vice-grip. Her whole body was rigid, her mind focused on the idiot in front of her, pale and scared out of his wits. Hurt. Punish. Obey me. Her mind seethed with these thoughts, thoughts very un-Lissa.

"Please, Lissa." I heard myself say. "He's not worth it. Let him go."

She ignored my words. I couldn't understand. How could I defend this bastard? He deserved to die. He should die. Lissa willed him to move the heavy bat he held, made him lift it until it was level with his skull. She could see it now, see the bone shatter and the blood spray all over the room-

Then just like that, I was thrown out of that memory straight into another. She was running, clutching something to her chest. Something warm. She burst through the bathroom door, straight to the trash can. The smell from whatever she held nearly choked her, and a broken sob escaped her as she dumped the bloody mess into the trash bin. It was horrible. There was blood everywhere. It had been too late, too late to help it. Lissa shivered violently as she stepped back, grasping her arms as if she could shield herself from the horrible sight. She thought of calling me, of screaming for help, of doing something but- God, the blood. The smell. It was all over her.

Lissa fell back against one of the stalls, slid to the floor. She crawled to the toilet just in time to vomit. How was it even possible to kill something like that, to spread it's brain and intestines so far-

She was sick a few more times. Finally, she couldn't take it any more. She reached into her shoe, pulled out a tiny razor. I watched in horror as she curled up next to the porcelain bowl and began to make shallow, precise cuts.

"Liss?"

She jerked, startled. The razor fell to the linoleum and vanished. Another sob came out before she could stop it and she fought the urge to find it again. She could hear me approaching, heard me knock on the stall door.

"Let me in." It was me, and Lissa thought I sounded like an angel... no, not right. I was never good enough to be an angel. I sounded safe. Sure. I was a guardian. Her guardian. Everything would be fine. I was here. I always came for her. I always helped her.

"This is reckless." Janine's voice cut through the thoughts. "We should do what we came to do."

This wasn't right. Lissa had always thought, even if the bond was one-way, that she'd know if something happened to me. We were so close, after all. I always knew if she needed help. That was why she couldn't, wouldn't believe Guardian Hathaway. This was wrong, all wrong. Even the haunted look in her eyes, or the defeated slump of her shoulders couldn't convince her. Not even the look on Guardian Belikov's face when they brought him in. No. Not Rose. It just couldn't happen.

"You're lying," she said with false bravado. "She's fine. You'll see. She'll come running back soon, to check on me. She wouldn't leave me."

"Princess-"

"NO!" she screamed. Her vision was blurred by tears. "Rose is fine! She's not dead! She's not!"

She shoved away Janine's arms, stared sobbing and screaming hysterically. The others in the lobby looked away awkwardly, their own pain evident in their expressions. Why wasn't anyone agreeing with her? Didn't they understand? It was a lie!

"Princess." Another voice cut in, a voice calm and sad. A voice that made my chest clench painfully. "Lissa," he said firmly, and somehow it reached her through the panic. She quieted, allowed him to gently lead her into her seat, place her hands in her lap. She locked onto his intense gaze. If anyone would believe in Rose, it would be him, right? He and Rose had been so close-

Then she saw the look on his face, and she knew. It all fell into place in her head, and the tears came back, quieter and less bitter. "She- Rose-" she stammered.

"She's-" Dimitri's voice caught. He took a deep breath, but kept eye contact. Ever the Guardian. "Rose is dead, Lissa. I- I'm so sorry."

"Something happened. You saw it." Dimitri's voice, firm and commanding. It was out of sync with the one before Lissa. "I- We have to know what happened. What Lissa did."

"You- you love her," Lissa said in awe. "I- I can't... I never realized-"

Janine sighed. The sound of metal clinking as it was passed along. "We're going to regret this, Dimitri. You know that."

This time, he did look away. His hands tightened on hers, briefly. "Yes," he said thickly. "More than anything."

I almost couldn't breathe, seeing him like that. I wanted to scream, to reach through Lissa's mind and tell him he was wrong, I wasn't dead. I was right here. Why couldn't he see that? Why was he just giving up?

Then Dimitri, the lobby, everything was gone. Lissa was being carried, held close to someone's chest. I could hear their heartbeat. "Hang on, Lissa," Christian whispered frantically. "Just hold on. I'll get help. You'll be fine."

The sound of heavy breathing next to them revealed someone else. Lissa shifted in his arms. The darkness was back, the pain and the anger and the fear. The crushing hopelessness. "I killed her." Lissa sobbed weakly. "I let them get her. I was trying to help. They killed her."

I could feel pain, tightness around my limbs. "That should hold," Dimitri said, and I heard his coat rustle as he stepped back.

"She's coming to," Janine whispered.

Christian hushed her. "What were you thinking?" Adrian snapped. "You were supposed to cut off contact-"

"Not the best time," the Moroi holding her snapped. "Do something useful and get a Guardian."

"What in- Oh my God! Lissa!" a girl gasped. Lissa recognized her as someone called Avery. "What happened?"

"Shut up and move."

I shook my head, slowly. Wait. No! What was wrong with Lissa? Why was she in trouble? Who the hell is Avery? I could feel the tension in the air increase as I took a deep breath.

"Rose, I'm sorry."

Then the pain hit. I gasped and jerked as I realized what they'd used. Silver. Silver chain. God, it hurt-

"I'm so sorry."

I screamed. I was out of Lissa's head instantly. I was trapped. I was trapped, held captive by Dimitri and my mother and I couldn't breathe.

"Is she faking it?" Janine asked nervously.

"Faking what?" I half-laughed, half sobbed. "Getting my ass kicked by a Moroi?" I... expected a response to that. But what? They were silent. "Gonna kill me?" I asked, every syllable laced with fatigue. "Do it soon, then. You know how much I love being patient."

I could hear him take a step forward, and I tensed. "What do you feel right now?" he asked, voice perfectly level. That question felt significant. Why? I hissed, still unwilling to open my eyes, to give up on reaching Lissa.

"Like hell?" I suggested. Not the right answer, it seemed.

"No," Dimitri said patiently. "How do you feel?"

Oh. I got it. "I... don't know," I said quietly. I strained for something, anything from Lissa. "Tired, I guess." Before he could object again, I elaborated. "I mean I don't want to fight. Just leave me alone. Please." Where was she? Why couldn't I reach her?

My mother gasped. "Rose," He said my name. He said Rose. I forced myself to open my eyes, to drag my weary eyes up to finally look at him. Something in his expression changed. "How many times have you heard my heart beat in the last thirty seconds?" I didn't think it was what he meant to say.

"Forty-two," I replied without a second thought. I couldn't read the look on his face. Honestly, I was too distracted to care. "Can we get to the point, please?" I felt for Lissa and found nothing. I gave up. Wait, why was I trying in the first place? What was the point?

For the first time, I took a look at my surroundings. The air was cool and tinny. Somewhere with air-conditioning, then. The room itself was painfully bare, with nothing but a few pieces of broken and worn furniture. Now that my Strigoi eyes had a chance to focus, I could see that wherever we were, it was old. And musty. I could feel the sun straining against the aged wood, reaching for me. The thought was chilling. My life was in their hands. So why hadn't they taken it yet?

"I don't understand. She's back to the way she was."

I didn't understand, either. I had no idea that Lissa was capable of anything like that. I never thought she'd ever try to hurt me- her former best friend. Maybe she was changing. About time, though. She had always been so weak. Which brought me back to the question- why was I still alive? These two had been determined to kill me. I'd had every opportunity to reciprocate. So why were we here?

"You said you could talk to Lissa," Dimitri finally said, breaking off my train of thought. "How long has this been going on?"

"Too long," I said snidely. Janine frowned. I managed a grin.

"It would be wise to cooperate." Dimitri cautioned, his hand close to the stake strapped to his waist. I rolled my eyes.

"Since before Romania."

"What happened to you last night?" Janine demanded. I hate interrogations. So tedious.

But the memory of the pain Lissa had put me through made me more than happy to answer. "Lissa hurt me," I growled. "And I'm going to hurt her back." A simple threat, but spoken in volumes. I didn't want these memories, these unwanted emotions that were corrupting my thoughts. They were wrong. They shouldn't be with me. Luckily, they had mostly faded, but if she'd done it once she could do it again. Maybe it had killed her. I hoped not. I'd have her blood for this. The Guardians hadn't taken my response well. Dimitri had even pulled his stake free. I laughed. "What did you expect?" I taunted. "A tearful revelation? A heartfelt apology for all the horrible, evil and murderous things I've done? I know you're smarter than that."

Janine shook her head. "You were different," she insisted. "You were almost-"

"Alive? I am alive, more than you've ever dreamed." I analyzed the room again. No chance of escape now, but once the sun fell-

"You're not going to escape, Rose." Huh. My name again. Interesting.

"We'll see, Comrade." I gave my former mentor my most dazzling Rose-smile.

He frowned. "Don't call me that." He stopped abruptly, probably angry at himself for the slip. "Why did Lissa attack you?"

"Didn't want me to kill the bitch. Just a bit of a tantrum."

He turned away abruptly. "This was a mistake." his voice was tight and controlled. "This isn't like us. We should know better. Strigoi are evil. Incurable."

I snorted. "Tell that to Lissa, will you? She's damned persistent."

Janine gave me a sharp glance, but let the comment slide. "This is too important, Dimitri-"

"This is not your daughter. This thing is a killer."

Guardian Hathaway got up from her seat, moving to stand between us. "I won't let you kill her until we know what's going on." My mother, of all people, defending me as a Strigoi? This was proving to be amusing, after all.

"I- I know it's difficult." Dimitri still refused to face us. "But this will only hurt more. We came to save Rose, to stop her. I came to keep my promise."

"How can you say that? You, of all people?" she demanded. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "This is my fault, I know. I failed her. I should never have let her run back in there."

My former self would have been astonished to hear this confession. Janine Hathaway, legendary Guardian, admitting she was wrong? Now I was just wishing they'd shut up. I had the mother of all migraines growing, and it could only make my temper worse.

Dimitri turned at that, mouth open, ready to object. Something stopped him. He stepped forward and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's no one's fault. Rose always got her way, somehow."

"I'm her mother. Not that I acted like it. If anyone is going to clean up this mess, I will."

I started to feel a bit of apprehension when she turned on me, hand on her own weapon. I realized what she meant. So she was giving in to reason after all. I gave her her my best glare, braced myself for the blow. "Do it, Mommy," I said in a dark, low voice. "Kill me."

That was when she struck.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose saw the love of her life dying before her eyes. Would she really let her mother hold her back? I think not! How things should have gone: Rose goes after Dimitri, only to be turned Strigoi in his stead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy.
> 
> Thank you to A.I.T. Author In Training for her help with more than grammar and continuity. ^_^

"You're strong," he said. "It won't happen again."

"No," I said. I could hear my voice cracking as I struggled to sit up. "It will happen again. I'm going to be like Anna. I'm going to get worse and worse. This time it was blood lust and hate. I wanted to destroy them. I needed to destroy them. Next time? I don't know. Maybe it'll just be craziness, like Ms. Karp. Maybe I'm already crazy, and that's why I'm seeing Mason. Maybe it'll be depression like Lissa used to get. I'll keep falling and falling into that pit, and then I'll be like Anna and kill-"

"No," Dimitri interrupted gently. He moved his face toward mine, our foreheads nearly touching. "It won't happen to you. You're too strong. You'll fight it, just like you did this time."

"I only did because you were here." He wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my face in his chest. "I can't do it by myself," I whispered.

"You can," he said. There was a tremulous note in his voice. "You're strong- you're so, so strong. It's why I love you."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "You shouldn't. I'm going to become something terrible. I might already be something terrible." I thought back to past behaviors, the way I'd been snapping at everyone. The way I'd tried to scare Ryan and Camille.

Dimitri pulled away so that he could look me in the eyes. He cupped my face in his hands. "You aren't. You won't," he said. "I won't let you. No matter what, I won't let you."

Shadow Kiss, pg 348

 

 

 

 

I smirked.

Janine fell to the floor in a heap, shoulders shaking. The stake rolled away from her, stopping only when it reached my foot. Dimitri walked over to her slowly, carefully avoiding looking anywhere near me. He pulled my mother to her feet, and she leaned into him, hiding her expression. They walked out without another word. I flinched at the light, though it didn't come anywhere near me.

Hours passed. And I swear, I will never complain about monotony again. This was hell. I felt the sun move across the sky, squirmed for the hours it was directly above me. Still I heard nothing. Lissa was silent too. I was totally isolated, for the first time since... well, forever. I hated the uncertainty. Part of me wished the guardians would return to finish me off, just to end the waiting. Most of me hoped I could still come up with a brilliant escape plan.

My head shot up when I heard the door open. Blessedly cool air rushed in, though Janine closed it too quickly for me to see what was outside. She took a deep breath before entering, taking her previous seat. She pulled out a battered phone and began punching in keys. Huh. I had no idea she knew how to text. Janine snapped it shut and looked away. Her gaze never wavered- calm, stoic and professional. She was waiting for something- Dimitri, probably, which was interesting. I didn't think he'd leave her alone with me, especially after what happened earlier.

Her stubborn silence continued. I had no desire to break it. What would I say? I'd done plenty earlier- no need to overdo it. I found myself hoping that Dimitri wasn't too far away. This was almost worse than before.

"Where is the nazar I gave you?" she asked abruptly.

Well. Of anything she could have asked, I was not expecting that. I thought about it. Had it been on me when I woke up, after the cave? I knew I wore it during the rescue- the charm and Lissa's chotki always stayed with me. That I still had, around my ankle and hopefully safely unnoticed. I had plans for it, after all.

I shrugged. "Must have dropped it in the cave."

Janine wasn't buying it. "Ro- you always had it. Lissa told me. So where did you lose it?"

"Can't we go back to pretending the other person isn't here?" I groaned.

Her eyes were hard. "No."

Damn Hathaway stubbornness. I knew she wouldn't give up on this, so I put actual effort into searching my memories. I didn't like to think of the time before I was Awakened. All those foreign thoughts and feelings were irritating, distracting. Maybe that was her point, I don't know.

My lip curled as Nathan stepped to the front of the group."Where is he?" I asked.

"Where is who?"

"Give him back to me, God damn it! I won't let you have him!"

"He's already ours, guardian."

I felt suddenly weak, perhaps sick? "No. You're lying."

"Roza."

"Well?" Janine snapped.

I glared at her. "I'm thinking. It's damned annoying, too, so could you give me a minute?"

To my surprise, she shut up.

Don't hesitate. I fought, not aiming to kill, but to distract. Dimitri was weak and wounded, and I knew that the Strigoi would take him. I was willing to die for him. When the opportunity came, I told him to run.

He hesitated, but I told him I would follow. A necessary lie. He obeyed. I was grabbed from behind. Fangs were at my neck-

"Tell me what you're remembering," she interrupted my thoughts. "I want to know what happened."

I gave a long-suffering sigh. "If I do, will you actually shut up?"

She gave me a pointed look. Me, captive. No chance of escape, only alive for a freak incident. Right. Point taken.

"I told him to run," I began slowly, "He listened. I didn't want him to look back, so I stopped fighting. I let them take me." These memories were harder, almost slippery compared to others. "One of them bit me. Nathan didn't like that. He killed her. The others backed off."

"Who's Nathan?"

I snorted. "Who was Nathan," I corrected. "I met him on the elementary campus when I was fighting with Christian. He threatened Lissa. He was the one who bit Dimitri. I killed him weeks ago."

Janine nodded. "You left him, before you went to Romania."

"Yeah. You want the rest or not?" I could tell she was resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "Nathan had wanted Dimitri, but I guess he liked my skills too. Said it would be a waste to drain me. No one bothered to object. They left us alone. Then... he bit me. I don't remember what happened after that."

She glanced at the door, as if worried Dimitri had arrived. Why was she questioning me alone? "Bullshit. Try harder."

"Why should I bother? You'll kill me eventually, anyway."

If I thought I had ever seen her angry before, I was wrong. In about a second, she was inches away, hands braced against the wall behind me. Her voice was quiet, but firm and full of barely-contained malice. "Do not mistake my reluctance for sentiment," she warned. "I will kill you. As you so often accused me, I was never a good mother."

My laugh annoyed her, but she didn't budge. "Oh, I doubt it. Don't give me that look. Talking is better than the fun I had all day. Let me tell you, boredom is bad enough without the chains and impending doom." Slowly, very slowly, she backed away. Janine didn't sit down again, though- just stood there. I closed my eyes to concentrate. I tried to focus on physical sensations, since emotions were all but lost to me, even in memory. The cold stone, the damp air... The blood pouring down my shoulder. My heart beating like I'd just run a marathon. Various pains from the fight. Think, Rose. Focus. "He offered to let me run," I finally said. "There was nothing between me and what was left of daylight."

"Why didn't you go?"

I frowned. It was confusing, sorting out the last moments of my old life. "I... was afraid," I concluded. It was the first emotion I could register, one of the few I could understand. "I knew he wouldn't really let me go, and trying would make him angry. Or worse, he'd be amused. And Dimitri..." Ugh. Had I really been that pathetic? "Dimitri might not be safe yet. I had to keep Nathan occupied."

"The nazar," She prompted.

"I left it on purpose. In case Dimitri came back." All this thinking was giving me a headache. "I don't know what happened after that."

"I found it."

Janine and I turned as one, both startled. A dhamphir not noticing him coming in was one thing, but my accelerated senses should have picked up something, distracted or not. As usual these days, it was impossible for me to read his expression. He swept inside, closing the door behind him. How long had he been there?

"I told you not to talk to her alone," he chastised.

My mother held her ground. "I needed to know. I thought maybe... maybe it had something to do with-"

One moment, the tedious questioning was boring me to tears, and the next, Lissa was back. The force of it, of her mental state, made me feel sick. I leaned over as far as I could, resisting the urge to start gagging. I took several deep breaths. Something was different. Something was wrong.

It's your fault. You're so impulsive, so selfish.

"Lissa?" I was more confused than anything else. "What-"

You loved him. You loved him and you didn't tell me, didn't trust me. I thought we were friends. You died for him, Rose! You were supposed to protect me!

I had the full attention of the guardians now. I didn't care. I had wondered if Lissa had even survived, after all that. It was certainly the most powerful I'd ever felt her magic. "Really, Liss? Trying to guilt a Strigoi?" I couldn't believe it. Either she was really out of it, or... Wait. Spirit.

After everything, after I saved you! You left me for a guy you could never have. How is that fair? How could you leave me like that? Did you even think of me once when you went barreling back into those caves to save him? Did you?

I pushed the slightest bit, tried to see her surroundings. I was violently shoved away. It seemed that dear Lissa was learning quite a few new tricks. My amused smile fell, and I remembered. I remembered what she had done, the terrible pain of it and the helplessness and fear and other emotions I didn't care to recall that she'd forced on me. "No, I didn't. But I am now, I promise you. I'm thinking of tearing your bleeding heart from your chest, of scratching out those pretty, innocent eyes. I'm thinking that you should watch your back, princess."

I expected shock, fear, denial. She didn't give me any of those. It's you who needs to watch out, Rose. I will find you. I will end this.

Dimitri and Janine looked sick, watching this exchange. I relaxed as best I could, trying to appear completely unconcerned. "Good luck with that. Someone beat you to it."

For the first time, she paused. Lissa pushed her way closer, looked through my eyes at the dhamphir standing speechless in front of me. The spirit-induced darkness shifted, and she seemed suddenly uncertain. She was thinking of the initiation, where she had been tortured and I had nearly killed Jesse for it- how, once again, I had made everything better.

A realization suddenly came to her. The bond. That was the key. Her sudden hope, a stark contrast to her anger from before, annoyed me.

"The key? What does the bond have to do with this?" I demanded.

She wouldn't say. Those thoughts were instantly torn away, hidden in that part of her mind she had learned to hide.

Forget it, Rose. You don't want to be helped, anyway, right?

"Tell me! Now!"I yelled. It was loud enough to make Dimitri and Janine flinch. Lissa was gaining control over herself again. I wanted to know. I needed to know. What if she actually found a way to cure me? The thought was enough to make me dig into her mind aggressively, not caring if it hurt her.

She fought fiercely. Lissa hadn't expected this kind of attack, hadn't even known it was possible. We wrestled for a few short moments, neither gaining the advantage. A fleeting thought crossed her mind, and I grabbed and pulled.

And then all that anger flowed into me, choking my apathetic Strigoi self. So much, all at once, was suffocating. Terrifying. Beyond this chaos, I could catch glimpses from her. Adrian, making a seedling grow, teaching her to read auras. A girl, that Avery person, drinking brandy and laughing with Christian. Endless parties and public appearances, playing nice for Tatiana-

And she was gone.

"No," I groaned, fighting to calm my racing heartbeat. "Not again."

These emotions weren't good. It was all pain and fear and anger and bitter jealousy. It almost felt like the compulsion Adrian had used on me- and maybe it was. Like she was forcing me to feel. A string of violent thoughts occurred to me, all with Lissa on the receiving end of them.

"What just happened?" Dimitri asked.

When I locked eyes with him, his guardian persona cracked. He took a step back. Dimitri, the god of St. Vladimir's, was afraid. Of me. It gave me a fierce sort of pleasure. "Lissa is a very bad girl," I purred. "Getting involved where she isn't wanted. She's very talented, but-"

That was when they came. None of us noticed, had bothered to be paying attention to anything going on outside these walls. It had been a separate world. And that was when my mother finally went down.

Perhaps she was right to shun any emotional attachment to her daughter. If she had stayed focused like a proper guardian, she would have heard them approaching. She might have had time to grab the stake before they poured through the door, and Dimitri might have had time to help her.

As it was, the Strigoi came from the door and two now broken windows. I could still smell the heat from the sun in the soil. They had attacked at the first opportunity. All I could do was watch with detached amazement as the first two went after Janine.

The guardian was on her back in a split second. Dimitri reacted quickly, and managed to tear one of the Strigoi off her before another grabbed him from the back. He spun to face the new threat, and Janine drove the heel of her palm into the other Strigoi's face. He shrieked and rolled away, clutching his bleeding face. She managed to get to her feet. Dimitri had killed one of them, but more were coming, and only one of the dhamphirs were armed.

An older Strigoi entered last and completely ignored them. She took one look at me and ripped away the chain. There was an acrid smell, but she didn't appear to feel the pain from the silver. I got to my feet, eager for blood, for action.

She seemed to have other plans. "She's free. Let's go!" the Strigoi snapped.

It didn't go quite like she wanted. My former mentor and only known parent were putting up one hell of a fight. Three Strigoi were dead, and Dimitri looked invincible, easily anticipating his opponents and exploiting weaknesses he caught in seconds. Janine twisted and struck out like a snake, too fast to catch and too unpredictable to trip up.

It was taking too long, and the Strigoi who had freed me was clearly annoyed. She signaled to the others, and three stepped toward Dimitri. One grabbed his stake-arm, getting a nasty hole in his chest for the effort. The other, a slight one who had formerly been Moroi, hit his spine. There was an audible crack as he fell to his knees. The last grasped his head, prepared to twist- or bite. Dimitri went very, very still.

Janine noticed. She redoubled her efforts, unwilling to accept defeat. My savior stepped forward, carefully avoiding the stake that was just brushing my shoe. With a single move almost too fast for my eyes to follow, she grabbed Guardian Hathaway by the throat and squeezed.

I watched as my mother grasped her pale wrist, eyes widening in panic. I moved, not giving myself time to consider what I was doing. I shoved the unknown Strigoi aside, dislodging her hold on Janine. Both fell to their knees. Every being in the room suddenly froze, eyes fixed on us.

The look Janine gave me spoke volumes. I didn't need Lissa to translate it for me. In answer, I crouched beside her. "You're mine," I promised. "And you won't get a quick death."

I straightened and helped the Strigoi to her feet. The look she gave me was far from friendly. "You're cocky," she noted distastefully. "Don't forget your place."

In the blink of an eye, Janine's discarded weapon was in my hand. The others backed away, staring at my smoldering skin in horror. "I would suggest that you not forget yours," I replied.

She considered me for a long moment. Then she signaled to the group. "We're leaving. My mentor wants to meet you. I am assured it will be to your advantage."

My eyes wandered to Dimitri, who had remained silent through the exchange. His guardian mask was firmly back in place, and he was totally calm, totally in control, ready to die. I smiled. Not yet. "Sure. Beats being Hathaway's lab rat. But don't worry, Comrade. I don't have plans just for mother dearest and Princess Dragomir." I approached him, slowly and with an unmistakeable intent. I leaned close to him until our skin was inches apart, falling to one knee. I kissed him, our lips barely touching. "I'll be waiting for you, Dimitri. Try not to disappoint me again."

I didn't let myself savor his reaction. I pulled my mother to her feet. I couldn't let them follow. While I was sure that Dimitri was out of commission after that hit, I knew Janine would leave him behind if she had to. It had been almost 48 hours since I'd fed. I needed no encouragement to sink my fangs into her neck.

She tried to resist at first, before the endorphins completely took her over. Based on the movement behind me, Dimitri had tried to intervene. If I thought it had been hard to pull away from Lissa, it was something else entirely to let my mother go. I only wanted her incapacitated, after all. I had a feeling my new friends wouldn't let me starve, though.

Dimitri was cursing in Russian, probably thinking I'd killed her. I walked from the building, brushing against the Strigoi leader on the way out. I heard her bark orders to the others before she followed. I took a deep breath of air, trying to sort out these intense, vindictive intentions. It was all supposed to be fun, a wicked game that would prove that I was smarter and stronger than the brainwashed Moroi bodyguards. What Lissa had accidentally given me through the bond had changed my outlook completely. I wasn't willing to tease, to stay just out of reach. I didn't want to settle for personal revenge. That could only last so long, after all. I would need bigger goals. With my new and very much unexpected backup, I could feel the sudden anger from before fading. I was one lucky girl.

"Aren't you going to get rid of that?"

I looked at the stake, shining in the scant moonlight. I could hold it. I had never seen another Strigoi who could. I felt giddy, almost maniacally pleased at this. I ripped my shirt and wrapped the torn cloth around the weapon. I could still feel the heat and the unpleasant nauseating aura from it, but it was far more bearable. "I think not. Why don't you tell me more about your 'mentor'?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose saw the love of her life dying before her eyes. Would she really let her mother hold her back? I think not! How things should have gone: Rose goes after Dimitri, only to be turned Strigoi in his stead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy.
> 
> Thank you for all your assistance, A.I.T. Author In Training, and I hope you're still up to it after this hiatus!

"You shouldn't have to keep protecting me," she said.

I laughed. "That's my job. I'm going to be your guardian."

"I know, but I meant like this. You shouldn't suffer because of me. You shouldn't always have to look after me. And yet you always do. You got me out of here. You took care of everything when we were on our own. Even since coming back... you've always been the one who does all the work. Every time I break down- like last night- you're always there. Me, I'm weak. I'm not like you."

I shook my head. "That doesn't matter. It's what I do. I don't mind."

"Yeah, but look what happened. I'm the one she really has a grudge against- even though I still don't know why. Whatever. It's going to stop. I'm going to protect you from now on."

There was a determination in her, a passion, a wonderful confidence radiating off of her that reminded me of the Lissa I'd known before the accident. At the same time, I could feel something else in her- something darker, a sense of deeply buried anger. I'd seen this side of her before too, and I didn't like it. I didn't want her tapping into it. I just wanted her to be safe.

"Lissa, you can't protect me."

"I can," she said fiercely..."By telling them." Her eyes flashed.

My mind was moving too slowly tonight. It took me a while to catch on. "Liss- no. You can't use compulsion. Not around here."

"I might as well get some use out of these stupid powers."

The more she uses it, the worse it'll get. Stop her, Rose. Stop her before they notice, before they notice and take her away too. Get her out of here.

"Liss, if you get caught-"

Dimitri stuck his head out. "You've got to get back inside, Rose, before someone finds you."

I shot a panicked look at Lissa, but she was already retreating. "I'll take care of everything this time, Rose. Everything."

Vampire Academy, pg 175

 

 

 

 

"You've got to be joking." The very cross look that Ana wore dashed my hopes. I sighed heavily. "Do I at least get a translator or something? I can't spontaneously learn Russian, you know."

This trip had been one drag after another. Ever since we'd left Dimitri and Janine behind, this bitch seemed determined to make me as miserable as possible. First, none of the others were allowed to talk to me. At all. Not that I really cared, but it got really boring really fast. Thenshe refuses to tell me anything about her mentor, only that we're going to Siberia- the one place I'd been trying to avoid. Now I find out that this mentor doesn't speak a word of English.

The complete lack of... well, anythingfrom Lissa didn't help either. All in all, I was very cranky. And just about ready to stab this mysterious mentor in the face and see if she understood that.

"I'll be there to translate," she replied, her voice showing that once again I was managing to get on her bad side. "However, I am not part of the conversation. You'll ignore me."

"Yeah, big shock. You people seem to do a lot of ignoring."

Ana didn't bother to reply. Probably because she would have tried to kill me, and while I was sure she wouldn't manage, it might piss off this mentor.

We were waiting in a large room in a really big house in the middle of nowhere. Someone had poured a lotof money into it. You couldn't look anywhere without seeing something worth more than a normal person made in a year. Maybe three. Ana didn't look impressed by any of it, just sat in her chair as if she had all the time in the world. If I didn't provoke her into trying to tear my head off, that is.

When the door finally opened, Ana was on her feet and out of the room before I could sit up straight. I purposefully took my sweet time walking in. This person might have saved my ass, but if she thought I was going to jump on command, she had a really harsh life lesson coming up. Ana was standing next to a woman by the window.

She had a thicker build than Ana, so I knew she was a former dhamphir. I had a few moments to take in her immaculately trimmed blonde hair, cold eyes and solid stance. A former guardian, I'd bet. She looked up when I entered, her expression as blank as I'd ever seen a guardian on watch. I stopped about a yard away from her, arms crossed.

Ana stepped back, putting her back to the wall. "This is Galina," she said quickly. "Tryto show some respect, will you?"

I was about to tell her exactly where she could shove it when Galina began to talk. Of course, I couldn't catch any of it.

"You were trained at St. Vladimir's?" she asked through Ana.

It was a bit disconcerting to have a silent go-between, but after years in Lissa's head, I could roll with it. "Yeah."

She nodded. "Dimitri Belikov was your mentor?"

"Yeah," I said again. Either this lady was not one to mince words, or she found the translator issue as annoying as I did.

She seemed amused by my reply. "Do you recall the guardians that found you in Romania?" I raised an eyebrow. She took it as a yes. "I gather that you haven't been keeping up on current news. You're a very famous person, Rose Hathaway. Your information has been passed along to almost every guardian. Queen Tatiana has put a price on your head."

Now thatI didn't expect. I had to try very hard not to look as stunned as I felt. I knew that they would pursue me, but this? I guess Tatiana hated me more than I thought. "And?"

"I can offer you protection, resources. There's a good reason they pursue you. Work for me, and I will help you get to Vasilisa."

I couldn't help it. I almost doubled over laughing. I wasn't sure who looked more pissed, Ana or Galina. "Work for you? I don't need anything you can offer-"

"The Dragomir Princess has been under twenty-four hour surveillance. Only approved friends may visit her while she completes her studies. There are four guardians lined up to protect her once she graduates. How could you possibly hope to overcome all that?"

"Not a problem." Galina didn't believe me. So I elaborated. "Lissa will come to me, eventually. She's more than intelligent enough to give her guardians the slip."

A secret smile broke the bad-ass vibe she'd been working so hard on. "Yes, your bond."

Nowshe had my full attention. I stopped gaping at the frame behind her that I'm pretty sure exceeded the price of a four bedroom house to decide if I was annoyed or amused. "That's not really fair, is it? You drag me all the way here, try to hire me, throw all this in my face, and all I have is a name."

"I would consider this carefully, Rose."

Well, this was a huge waste of time. "I did. No thanks."

I made it to the door before she spoke again. "And what will you do when they catch up to you? Dimitri may have hesitated, but he won't do it again. And you didso well at getting away last time."

Damn it. "I've been doing fine."

"Is that the extent of your ambition? Will you spend eternity satisfied after ruining the lives of a few dhamphir and one princess? What will you do once you have your revenge?"

The spirit-induced anger had vanished days ago, but I could remember it clearly. I had plans. I had decided to go further, to cripple the Moroi system. But once Lissa's emotions faded, it seemed like a lot of work. And to pull something like that off, I'd need help. I was never much of a team player. But here was an incredibly well-connected ally, offering to share. In exchange for what?

"I'll work withyou, not foryou," I finally replied, turning to stare her down. "And I want access to whatever I need, without question, or I'm gone."

The Strigoi was silent, only her red-ringed eyes moved, taking in every detail of me. I wasn't sure what she thought she'd find out. Even Ana was becoming uncomfortable in the sudden silence.

"Agreed."

 

 

 

 

"Come on, Lissa. It's been hours. Time to relax."

Lissa pulled her eyes from the book in front of her reluctantly. Her head was swimming with information. In the few days since her epiphany, she'd read every piece of literature mentioning spirit. There was somethingthere, something she was missing that would help. "Just a few more chapters, Avery."

The Moroi sighed, holding out a bottle of whiskey. "You can't think straight exhausted. You can attack that thing again in the morning."

She hesitated. The reading was going slowly, the words beginning to blur and lose their meaning. A loud sigh came from the other side of the couch. Lissa jumped. She'd forgotten that Adrian was there.

"Go ahead, princess. Your endless research is making metired."

"You're just angry I haven't helped you with spirit in the last week," Lissa teased. She took the whiskey.

Adrian sat up, scattering the pillows that had managed to survive his initial collapse. "There's nothing to do lately. You're always buried in books, Avery's the new Rose-"

"She's not," Lissa snapped. Avery and Adrian looked less shocked than they should have at the outburst. Lissa was thinking about me, about the oldme that was always reliable, always knew how to make her feel better, that spent almost every second at her side. "No one can replace her."

There was a short silence. "We know that, Lissa. Adrian wasn't serious."

"Oh, so you're speaking for me now, too?" he scoffed. "I thought you only had Lissa dangling from your fingers."

Lissa didn't pay much attention to Avery's expression, but I knew that look well. It was the look of a predator. "Just what are you-"

The whiskey bottle hit the coffee table with a loud thunk. Lissa was sick of them arguing, sick of being caught in the middle. She got to her feet, refusing to look at either of them. That was just what she needed, being forced to choose between them now that Christian- She pulled from those thoughts abruptly.

She left them without a word, looking for somewhere, anywhere to be alone. She thought of the chapel, but there was the fear that Christian was there. She didn't have a roommate. She could go to bed. But the guardians, the strange ones who never even told her their names, would be there. Lissa couldn't take that. She felt so alonethat for a moment she felt like screaming.

I would have exploited that- such a perfect opening, really- but so far Lissa hadn't noticed my intrusion, and I wanted it to stay that way. She was up to something, and I needed to know what. Someone called Lissa's name.

Avery ran up to her, a little breathless and probably more than a little drunk. She took a few breaths before speaking. "Lissa, I'm sorry. You don't think that, do you? What Adrian said? If I've been bossy-"

"No, it's fine," Lissa assured her. "It's not you. Just Adrian being... Adrian."

"Liss, I hate to say it..." Lissa flinched at the nickname. It was myname for her. It shouldn't be used by Avery. But as that thought processed, it struck her that in many ways, Avery had taken over for me. She actually lookedat her, how she had run across campus to apologize, how concerned she was now. Was it really so different? "But do we really need to spend time with him? I know he helped you a lot at first, but we don't need him to teach you Spirit. You have me."

This was definitely news to me. Avery was a spirit user? Lissa was unsure. "But... he and Rose-"

"Didn't have anything. One-sided, remember? You said that Rose liked her mentor, that Russian guy."

"Dimitri," she supplied. She knew Avery was right, but she still felt guilty. How could she just cast Adrian aside? She'd lost Christian already. There would be no one left, no one to share the burden of finding me, of curing me.

Avery wrapped her arms around Lissa. "It's okay. I promise, we'll figure it out. Adrian will just drag us down." She stepped back, hands on her shoulders, and locked eyes with her. "Tell him you don't want his help anymore, Lissa," she urged. "Tell him to go away."

Suddenly, the guilt seemed stupid. Adrian liked Rose, not her. Why should she feel obligated to spend time with him? Avery was so much stronger, knew so much more about Spirit. Slowly, she nodded. "Yeah," she agreed. "We'll help Rose, just you and me."

I didn't like Avery's sickly sweet smile, or the strange gleam in her eyes. I didn't like that she had Lissa wrapped around her little finger. Lissa was mine.

She's tricking you, Princess.

Lissa panicked. Avery saw the change. Her eyes narrowed, and she pushed at me. The force was almost physical, unyielding and harsh. I was back in my own mind in seconds.

It was good timing anyway. I opened my eyes and looked around the room that Galina had given me. Every modern convenience you could imagine, all wrapped up in a nice little cage with bulletproof glass and steel doors with electronic locks. Cozy.

As if on cue, Ana entered, followed by one of the cretins they kept for menial tasks. The human girl stood silently by the door, eyes downcast. The Strigoi glanced around the room. "So, any complaints about thisone?"

I shrugged. "It's functional."

She sighed. "It's the best room here, besides Galina's- and you're not getting that."

"Do I get the other thing I asked for at least?"

The human held out a laptop. "There's all the contact info you need in there," Ana said. "And you have access to a bank account. What do you need it for? We don't work with humans unless we have to."

I set the computer down and got to my feet. I gestured towards the room, filled with expensive modern amenities. "Look at all this. Galina has all the money she could want, and what does she use it for? TVs and fancy showers." I smirked. "Money talks, Ana. Give a human a number with five or more zeros and they'll do anything. For example-" I tapped on the glass. "This is the modern world, but we hunt like stone-age barbarians. We need to move forward."

"And how do you propose we do that? We don't need guns."

"No," I agreed. "We need fear. We need to show the Moroi that nowhere is safe. They will never be able to hide from us again." I grinned. "We're going to walk in sunlight."

The look on her face was priceless. I'm sure she thought I was insane, or delusional. Probably both. She settled with insolent. "If you're just wasting our time-"

I turned on her, shoved her against the wall so quickly she never saw it coming. I pinned her by the throat. "If anything, you're wasting mine," I growled. "I said 'without question'. Will you be responsible for Galina losing her best asset? Or does she not want to share the fame of ending the Dragomirs?"

She relaxed marginally, and I let her go. She left without another word, the human trailing behind. I returned to the computer, but even with the world at my fingertips, I couldn't focus. There were so many questions. Why was Avery using compulsion on Lissa? Had she taught her how to make the bond work both ways? What did Galina want from me? Where were Dimitri and Janine?

I gave up on the project. It would have to wait for later. For now, the itching in my throat needed soothing. It was time to ask Galina about the local cuisine.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose saw the love of her life dying before her eyes. Would she really let her mother hold her back? I think not! How things should have gone: Rose goes after Dimitri, only to be turned Strigoi in his stead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy.
> 
> Thanks again to A.I.T. Author In Training!

"The spell. Victor said you had to want me... to care about me... for it to work." When he didn't say anything, I tried to grip his shirt, but my fingers were too weak. "Did you? Did you want me?"

His words came out thickly. "Yes, Roza. I did want you. I still do. I wish... we could be together."

"Then why did you lie to me?"

We reached the clinic, and he managed to open the door while still holding me. As soon as he stepped inside, he began yelling for help.

"Why did you lie?" I murmered again.

Still holding me in his arms, he looked down at me. I could hear voices and footsteps getting closer.

"Because we can't be together."

"Because of the age thing, right?" I asked. "Because you're my mentor?"

His fingertip gently wiped away a tear that had escaped down my cheek. "That's part of it," he said. But also... well, you and I will both be Lissa's guardians someday. I need to protect her at all costs. If a pack of Strigoi come, I need to throw my body between them and her."

"I know that. Of course that's what you have to do." The black sparkles were dancing in front of my eyes again. I was fading out.

"No. If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you."

Vampire Academy, pg 323-324

 

 

 

 

The next week or two (really, it's hard to keep track when you're so busy trying to work with morons) were filled with planning. I got a whole lot of nothing from my silent sponsor, but Ana's increased presence said that she did care what I was draining all her money on. I walked through the warehouse given to me for my experiments, watching the humans closely as they worked. There were about a dozen of them, all taken from universities and the like, given the option of working or dying. Most made the smart choice, but the local newspapers covered the failures quite nicely.

I had talked with them, designing a suit that would greatly increase the effectiveness of Galina's troupe. The unfortunates who were chosen to test them had permenently stained sections of the lawn outside. I leaned over one of the tables, frowning as a woman dipped a piece of black fabric into a chemical solution. Her hands trembled, and the tweezers nearly fell. I leaned forward further to whisper in her ear. "Drop it and I'll make you retrieve it from that container... without gloves."

The woman swallowed, and I continued my observations. Honestly, it didn't make any sense to me, but it didn't have to. The results were all that I cared about. But simply waiting was making me restless. There was nothing else to do. I missed moving around, hiding out in plain sight, stalking the streets. This lifestyle didn't suit me.

My brief glimpses at Lissa's life were far from interesting- just high school, complete with drama. Well, high school with magic and a few other little differences. Lissa, on Avery's 'reccommendation' had avoided Adrian successfully. I wondered why he still stayed on campus, but then again, I'd given up understanding him a while ago.

I had just decided that a run would be more interesting, despite Galina's rules, when a shout came from the other end of the building. I was there in a second, hoping that it was some ballsy Guardian, better, a troupe of them. I wasn't that lucky. It was another 'volunteer', a slip of a boy who seemed to have lost his mind when he was brought here. I sneered at him. I was so glad to be rid of such debilitating fear. The Strigoi accompanying him looked to me for orders. I admit, I kind of liked being in charge. Okay, I liked it a lot.

But I had a reputation to maintain, so I kept the giddy smile off my face and grabbed the student by the front of his shirt. "You obey, or you die. Slowly. I recommend the smart choice."

His lips moved, and he choked out a few words in Russian. I glanced at Ana, my silent shadow.

"He says he will do what we want."

I smiled at him, and threw him to the floor. Without glancing back, I stepped over him and let myself out. Ana only spoke up when I went the opposite direction of Galina's estate.

"You're not supposed to go to Novosibirsk."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, I didn't catch it the first hundred times you said it."

"Galina doesn't want you-"

"To what? Run off? Like I'd let her take credit for the suit." I scoffed. "Don't you ever get sick of that place?"

"I am more than content-"

I gave a long-suffering sigh. "Then follow, if you're so paranoid." I paused, considering. "If you can keep up."

 

 

 

 

Thankfully, Ana didn't take me up on the offer. I took my time, savoring my momentary freedom. I would have to be cautious- our recruiting hadn't gone unnoticed- but for now, I was more than happy to simply wander.

I took my stolen time to think instead. It wasn't something I particularly enjoyed. I preferred action. But I had learned a lot since Nathan's death, and among the hardest of them, patience. I wasn't perfect, mind you, but I could restrain myself far more than I used to.

Back to the thinking. Avery. She was an interesting girl. It seemed that spirit users were popping up all over the place since Victor Dashkov kidnapped Lissa, but I never expected one to go straight to Lissa. I didn't like it, almost as much as I didn't like how she was wrapping Lissa around her little finger. Avery would be trouble.

"You alone, dhamphir? Or do you have a few more blood-sacs hiding, thinking we'll take the bait?"

I stopped. This sounded interesting. Most of the Strigoi in the area were in the same boat as me- living in the lap of luxury, but very confined. Were they outsiders, or was I one of many with a rebellious streak? I crept towards the voices, taking extra care.

"Well, if she's got friends, they don't seem to be too concerned, do they?"

The other Strigoi chuckled. Chuckled? That was... different. I stepped delicately onto the metal dumpster and peered over the chainlink fence. My enhanced senses were a blessing, really- otherwise, I might not have interfered in time.

Seconds later, I stood over the dhamphir, the head of a Strigoi dangling from my fingers. She faced me, pale but stubborn, her wild red hair as greasy as the rest of her. She'd been fighting- I smelled old blood under the fresh metallic scent, and there were faded bruises on her bare arms.

"Hello, mother." A glare was her only answer. I glanced around, my nose wrinkling as I tried to sort through the rancid smell of trash and vomit. "No weapons? No allies? Where is Mr. Belikov?"

"Dead."

I stopped breathing. The head fell from my hands, hitting the pavement with a wet thunk. I locked eyes with her, my body tense. "You're lying."

Janine was frightened, that much was obvious. But she held her ground. "The injury, from when you escaped. He didn't recover."

I grabbed her, pulled her up until her feet dangled inches from the ground, my face twisted in fury. "You're lying!"

Anger, I would have expected. Defiance, even more so. But Janine Hathaway just looked... I don't know. None of the things I thought she'd be. "I'm not, Rose. I'm really not."

I shouldn't have, but I threw her at the brick building to our left, not even caring about the satisfying crunch of her bones. He was gone. Gone, and I never had the chance to finish him. I screamed. All my running, all my planning and there was nothing. Just nothing.

My throat was sore. I forced myself to take deep breaths, to calm myself before I made another stupid mistake. I shouldn't have left him with Janine. I should have killed him right there, nevermind Galina's lackeys-

Galina. If she hadn't interfered, if she hadn't sent Ana to get me, would he still be alive? I knew that at the very least, I wouldn't be trapped in a fancy cage, let out on probation, forced to be watched like some child. But even I couldn't bring Galina down, not alone. I walked over to my mother and pulled her to her feet. Blood trickled from her mouth, but she was alive.

"Mother, how would you like to kill some Strigoi?"

Then I heard it- a soft sound, almost imperceptible. Something like panic crossed Janine's face. I turned, and saw it- a small piece of cloth peeking from behind a pile of discarded furniture. As I watched, it moved.

The girl I pulled into the light was young, with dark brown eyes and a defiant, fearful expression. It was a fascinating mix. I took a good look at her. "A human?" I said incredulously. I grabbed her wrist when she moved, almost laughing at her pathetic attempt. She was forced to drop the stake. "That really wasn't a good idea, Mother."

"Her name is Sydney." Janine said breathlessly. "She has nothing to do with-"

"I'm an Alchemist," the human cut in. "I was sent to help Guardian Hathaway."

I just stared at her blankly. "A what?"

"Nothing that relates to you."

My eyes narrowed. "How'd you like to decorate a wall?"

Janine stepped forward, wobbling a little. "Wait. What did you mean before? Who are you after?"

The girl, Sydney, looked more than a little relieved when I gave my full attention to the Guardian. "The Strigoi who sent her lackeys to rescue me."

"Tell us where she is; Some Guardians will take her out."

I smiled, shaking my head. So stupid. "Really? You'd send them into a nest?"

Her face paled. "What?"

I crossed my arms, noting the blood smeared on my blouse. Shame- I liked this one. "Galina owns an estate. I don't know exact numbers, but you'd have at least a dozen to deal with, probably up to twenty. But if you want to rush in, send in some free snacks... Feel free."

She swallowed, took a deep breath. "Fine. What did you have in mind?"

Guardian Hathaway, working with a Strigoi? This should be entertaining. I grinned and told her just a couple of the scenarios I had already worked out. If one of them worked, I'd get my revenge for Dimitri's life and end up in charge of Galina's estate in one move. It was far more appealing than my current situation- then I could focus on Janine and Lissa.

 

 

 

 

"Really, Liss?" I froze, one foot in the air. "Please tell me you're joking."

She turned the full force of her puppy-dog eyes on me, water glistening on her lashes. "Look at her, Rose. She's freezing. We can't leave her out here."

I sighed. Only Lissa would feel personal responsibility for a stray kitten. I had stopped a few feet away, but the small animal was already growling, staring at me with wide, untrusting eyes. What did Lissa expect me to do? "We'll call the humane society."

We were new to Portland, and I had no idea where one would be. It didn't stop Lissa. She picked up the kitten, cooing at it. It was filthy, probably had fleas. She didn't care. Then she shoved it at me, one hand going to her purse. I had to grab it or let it fall.

Instantly, it started writhing, twisting like a possessed snake. It might have been a bobcat with the sounds it was making. I clamped it to my chest, already mourning the loss of another shirt. "What are you doing?" I asked, slightly panicked. She knew how well I got along with anything furry.

"Hold on. I'm calling."

Then the claws came out. I yelped. The kitten took the chance to leap. It dissappeared down the street. Lissa watched it go, her phone still held to her ear. She looked at me in horror. "You let her go!" she accused.

"It scratched me!"

Lissa scowled. "Oh, come on. Your career plan is what, now? Go after her!"

I did a fair amount of grumbling, but I took off after it obediantly. I saw a flash of orange vanish under the porch of some run-down three bedroom house. I got to my knees, shivering as a cold gust of wind swept down my back. It was all the way near the back. I heard Lissa behind me.

"Come on, Liss. I'd have to crawl under there."

"Then start crawling," She said stubbornly.

Biting back a few words that would get me detention, I pulled off my sweater and handed it to her. It was as dark, wet, and musty as I thought it would be. I suddered as I crawled through a spider web. The kitten hissed at me, but there was no where else for it to go. It attacked my hand when I grabbed it, drawing blood. I resisted the urge to throw it and wriggled backwards.

The look on Lissa's face when I held the squirming thing out to her was worth all the trouble. Her eyes lit up, and her gentle smile as she took it from me was a relief to see. Being on the run had really worn her down. I hesistated for only a moment before I made my choice.

"We can give it to Jeremy. You can have it as long as we're here."

Lissa grinned. "Really?" It looked like she was going to hug me. I stepped back, hands raised in surrender.

"Furry thing?" I reminded her.

She glanced at the tabby. "Oscar."

"Huh?"

"I'm naming the kitten Oscar," She clarified.

I looked at the kitten, purring contentedly in Lissa's arms. "Weird name."

She laughed.


End file.
